Thursday, January 19, 2012

Showing my Bloomers

I found this blog entry quite entertaining from Lists of Note - Don'ts for Women Riders

Most are quite amusing (since I often show my bloomers to anyone who will look at them) but this is my favorite

Don't appear in public until you have learned to ride well

Well, hell, if that was the case I would never ride in public!!

Anyway, here is the list, with a little of my commentary, enjoy....

On June 21st of 1895, the "Newark Sunday Advocate" ran an alarming story — syndicated from New York World — about a recent gathering of the Unique Cycling Club of Chicago; an event that saw two lady riders publicly punished/shamed for having the audacity to turn up wearing short skirts over their bloomers. That story can, and should, be read below.
Also of note is the amazing list that followed said piece, printed in an effort to better educate female cyclists in light of the bloomer fiasco. The list was titled, "Don'ts for Women Riders."

The Unique Cycling club of Chicago is all that its name implies. One of its laws is that on all runs bloomers and knickerbockers shall be worn, and two members who disobeyed this rule recently met with a punishment that they will not forget soon. Union park was the rendezvous for the last run, and 50 members turned out. The president, Miss Bunker, observed two women wearing short skirts over their bloomers.
"Take the skirts off," ordered Captain Bunker.
"Indeed we won't," was the reply.
A crowd of 200 had collected to see the start. The president and the captain held a consultation, and then, taking several strong armed members with them, fell on the skirt wearers and stripped them down to their bloomers.
"It was done in all seriousness," said Mrs. Langdon. "The club's rules are made to be kept and not to be broken. Why did we take off the skirts in public? For no other reason but to make examples of the offenders. They publicly defied our rules and were published accordingly."


Don't be a fright. (WTF?)
Don't faint on the road.
Don't wear a man's cap.
Don't wear tight garters.
Don't forget your toolbag
Don't attempt a "century." (I should have paid more attention to this one)
Don't coast. It is dangerous.
Don't boast of your long rides. (well, then what is the point?)
Don't criticize people's "legs."
Don't wear loud hued leggings.
Don't cultivate a "bicycle face." (WTF?, again)
Don't refuse assistance up a hill.
Don't wear clothes that don't fit. (still holds true today)
Don't neglect a "light's out" cry.
Don't wear jewelry while on a tour.
Don't race. Leave that to the scorchers.
Don't wear laced boots. They are tiresome.
Don't imagine everybody is looking at you. (good advice for everything)
Don't go to church in your bicycle costume.
Don't wear a garden party hat with bloomers.
Don't contest the right of way with cable cars. (well, duh!)
Don't chew gum. Exercise your jaws in private. (that sounds dirty!)
Don't wear white kid gloves. Silk is the thing.
Don't ask, "What do you think of my bloomers?" (why the hell not?)
Don't use bicycle slang. Leave that to the boys. (bite me)
Don't go out after dark without a male escort.
Don't without a needle, thread and thimble.
Don't try to have every article of your attire "match."
Don't let your golden hair be hanging down your back.
Don't allow dear little Fido to accompany you
Don't scratch a match on the seat of your bloomers. (um, ok)
Don't discuss bloomers with every man you know. (again, why the hell not?)
Don't appear in public until you have learned to ride well. (in that case I am F'd)
Don't overdo things. Let cycling be a recreation, not a labor. (Tell that to Coach Tony)
Don't ignore the laws of the road because you are a woman. (there are laws?)
Don't try to ride in your brother's clothes "to see how it feels." (that sounds dirty and weird)
Don't scream if you meet a cow. If she sees you first, she will run.
Don't cultivate everything that is up to date because you ride a wheel.
Don't emulate your brother's attitude if he rides parallel with the ground.
Don't undertake a long ride if you are not confident of performing it easily.
Don't appear to be up on "records" and "record smashing." That is sporty.


  1. Thank goodness they cleared up that laceup boot thing. No wonder I take so long in T1 and T2.